Mortar Attacks in Iraq

Jay arrived in his final destination in Iraq. My husband bought a SIM card from a local and he’s now calling me for free! It’s nice that I get to hear from him everyday now. While talking to him he told me about mortar attacks that he’s witnessed and how there are explosions around him constantly. It was wonderful to hear from him, but it’s tough to know that he’s in harm’s way for real now. Before, he was in Kuwait City, which does not have any violence. Now, he’s in the thick of it all. I knew that eventually I would hear about the violence facing Jay. I am working hard not to be anxious. I’ve just been prayerful.  We’re approaching Month 2 of this deployment. At least I know that there are five more months to go until I’ll see Jay!

After talking to Jay, I turned on the news to see that a local soldier was killed in Afghanistan. This soldier did 3 tours of duty in Iraq as well as two tours in Desert Storm in 1990s before his tour in Afghanistan. I will never complain about the length of this deployment again because Jay and I will only have to go through a deployment once. This soldier’s wife is much stronger than I am.

CNN Breaking News: Osama Bin Laden Not Leading Day-to-Day for Al QaedaOperations

This story just broke and I wanted to share it with everyone. It’s pretty ironic that I would post something moments ago about how everyone should read the news and then this information comes out. Osama bin Laden is not leading Al Qaeda. What this article doesn’t explicitly say is that the next generation of terrorists is leading Al Qaeda and that seven years have flown by since Sept. 11, which allowed Al Qaeda to do succession planning. Their organization is clearly still strong. The CIA is worried about the organization acquiring nuclear weapons. That’s serious business that some poor thugs in Iraq could never pull off! Al Qaeda is a well-oiled machine and we have been so distracted with other missions that we failed to take down the most dangerous terrorist in the world. I step on an airplane at least twice a month, and I can say that each time I do, I feel no safer than I did flying one month after Sept. 11. 

Here’s the article in its entirety:

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Osama bin Laden is no longer believed to be the head of al Qaeda’s day-to-day operations, but the United States’ capturing or killing him would still have a powerful effect on the organization, CIA Director Michael Hayden said Tuesday.

Osama bin Laden is spending a great deal of his energy merely surviving, CIA Director Tom Hayden says.

There is no greater security threat facing the United States than al Qaeda and its associates, Hayden said in a speech to the Los Angeles World Affairs Council.

The CIA’s top issues, however, also include nuclear proliferation — particularly in countries like Iran, North Korea and more recently Syria, he said. The greatest challenge lies in detecting those countries who might be developing in secret, Hayden said, as access to sensitive technologies is no longer the exclusive domain of a few advanced nations.

“Bin Laden said repeatedly that he considers acquisition of nuclear weapons a religious duty, and we know that al Qaeda remains determined to attack our country in ways that inflict maximum death and destruction,” he said.

Although he took questions from members of the audience, Hayden declined interview requests from journalists covering the event.

Seven years after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, Bin Laden and his second in command, Ayman al-Zawahiri, have yet to be captured.

However, “this man whom we really want to kill or capture is spending a great deal of his energy merely surviving,” Hayden said.

In response to a question about how the next president can help the agency focus on its core mission of protecting the homeland, Mr. Hayden replied “do nothing,” as the overall current structure of theCentral Intelligence Agency is functioning well.

After the election, there will be two daily presidential briefings — one for President Bush and a second for the president-elect, he said. The transition between presidents will be the first since the office of Director of National Intelligence was created. 

To Watch The News or Not Watch the News–That is the Question

Today, I saw that the death total is above 4,100. That’s such a large number. What’s even more staggering is the total for injuries, more than 20,000! Other military wives have told me not to watch the news, but I definitely think I should watch the news. I think it’s so important to stay on top of current events. If an Army wife didn’t watch the news today, she wouldn’t know that General Petraeus passed the baton to General Ordieno. This is an important fact. It can change a lot of things in Iraq. Organizational changes in companies can be traumatizing and debilitating to productivity for employees in a regular workplace, I can’t imagine what it’s like for the Army to go through organizational change. I hope everyone will stay on top of the latest news, so you can make informed decisions about every aspect of military life. The news should not cause you to worry. Everything that happens in Iraq is beyond our control, and anxiety will not help the situation. We cannot change the direction of anything in the world by remaining ignorant and shielding ourselves from the harsh realities of life. From this point forward, I plan to stay well-versed on international affairs and public policy, and I hope you will too.

Baghdad High

So, when Jay left for Iraq I decided to invest in HBO, and it was a great choice! I thought HBO, which carries quality programming would be a great alternative to my greatest weakness–reality tv. Today, I watched Baghdad High, a documentary on HBO that gives high-schoolers from Baghdad video cameras to document their daily lives. This presentation was so sad. It shows the horror these students face during their senior year in high school. In addition to having to figure out their next steps in life, they’re engrossed in the middle of a war they can’t comprehend. This documentary shows the pain these young men feel as one of their friends moves to another country in the middle of the school year to escape the violence. Another boy’s family faces financial hardship because of the terrible economic situation in the country. The third student featured struggles to keep his grades up as he tries to cope with not knowing where his father is alive or dead.

After watching this documentary, I’m even more opposed to our involvement in this war. This program showed regular adolescents who are caught in the middle of an unjust war. It was clear that all of the families depicted in this film hated Saddam Hussein. They were excited that he was killed in an inhumane way and many gave testimonies about how they were personally affected by Saddam’s evil ways. Now that Saddam is gone, they’re struggling to stay alive. One of the kids visited one of friends who had been injured by a roadside bomb. It was sad to see this child in a terrible condition. They also showed a clip from one of the orphanages in Baghdad. It was heart-wrenching to see children who looked hungry and unkept. These were all children who lost their parents because of the death from the war. It’s a very sad situation. It seems very much like a scene described in the book, Charlie Wilson’s War. The children who were Freedom Fighters in Afghanistan during the U.S-led covert operation against Russia. Those children felt mistreated by their situation and hated America for the violence they brought to their country. One of those children was Osama Bin Laden and he we know how his story goes. I don’t want to see another Osama Bin Laden emerge from the children of Iraq and Afghanistan, and occupation is not the answer to helping them rebuild their lives. I wish there were a way to restore goodwill. 

Make no mistake that I support and respect my husband and his comrades in the efforts for the war. I don’t, however, appreciate how the Bush Administration has been careless about developing an exit strategy and restoring goodwill within the country. One of the most notable quotes by Congressmen Wilson about the covert operation in Afghanistan was…”Those things happened and they were glorious, and then we fucked up the end game.” I fear that’s where we’re headed now in year 5 of this war. There’s no clear mission. In the beginning, there was the mission of finding Osama Bin Laden and other members of Al Quada and bringing down Saddam and his administration. Osama Bin Laden is hiding somewhere (some believe in Pakistan) and Saddam and his evil sons are dead. Where do we go from here? The obvious answer is to rebuild the country, but it makes no sense to rebuild when you destroy the infrastructure you just built the week before. We have been working to deter the insurgency, but it would be solved if they didn’t have a target.

This is a moment of honesty for me and I hope everyone will take this post as it is. These are thoughts swirling in my mind as I miss Jay and watch dramatic scenes of kids who have done no wrong. I do think the children are the ones who have been forgotten about in this mess.

Calls from Afar

Jay called today and it was so great to hear his voice! I was at work and in a meeting when he called this time. Everyone has been so understanding about me dropping everything to chat with him. He was in a great mood, which in turn put me in a great mood. I feel so much more relaxed today now that I had an extra day of rest. All is well! I’m ready to kick off the weekend!

Stress!!!

I have been so excited about being busy and not having to worry about my husband’s deployment that I haven’t been taking care of myself. Being so busy has actually made me physically sick. I stayed home from work today because I am so exhausted! I have been going, going, and going all day and all night since Jay left and I haven’t been taking care of myself. It’s ironic that my last post was about being busy and happy. Now, I busy and burned out. It only took two weeks to reach that point! I need to focus on being healthy for Jay. The last thing I need is to get so burned out from school, work, and volunteer activities. I have also been stretching myself thin on the social circuit. Last week, I had lunch with 4 different people and 1 brunch with another friend. I have to find some balance in my life. I’m too young to be so stressed out. I’m going to start investing in “me time”. I typically work out at least three times a week, and that has been slashed out of my schedule because of all of my other commitments. I am making a pledge today to return to my old, healthy habits. I am going to get up early and exercise tomorrow and go to yoga on Saturday. Those are activities that I usually do, but I am pledging to myself to stay on track! I’ll keep you posted on my progress…

President Bush Withdraws 8,000 Troops

This morning I read the headline: “Bush to Cut 8,000 Troops.” Here’s a link to the story:  http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/09/05/iraq.troops/index.html

I got excited for a minute and thought we could be on the brink of troop withdrawal from Iraq. This story became anti-climatic to me as I remembered that my husband and his comrades make up about half this number and that they still have 11 1/2 months to go. This cut in troops really didn’t even put a dent into the number of men and women who are actually serving over there. 

Right now, Jay’s deployment has not been bad for me. I’ve been very busy with work, school, and volunteer activities. I have not had time to sulk and come to grips with being alone. It feels like Jay is on one of his missions in the field. Because I’ve been in contact with him nearly everyday, I have not felt like he was at war. When I talk to him, I can hear laughter in the background and he typically tells me stories about his daily activities. I know this lightheartedness will change soon. I wonder at times if I’m ready for the grim realities of war. What does that reality entail? Only time will tell. Until next time….

Conversations From Kuwait & Mean Girls

So, Jay called me this afternoon from Kuwait. He was telling me about everything that was going on in Kuwait. How he was feeling about the situation. When he called, I was at lunch with one of my colleagues from work. It was pretty awkward having that conversation with someone right across the table. I want to break down in tears and tell Jay how much I loved him and missed him, but I also wanted to stay calm and composed because I didn’t want to get too personal in front of colleague. I chose the latter way of behaving. Jay actually commented that he realized that I was at a work lunch, but he wished that I could be more of myself. It was very awkward. I can imagine this happening many more times as the deployment moves forward. Because of the time difference He’ll be calling me mainly while I’m at work. I don’t want him to ever think I’m being disingenuous, but trying to stay composed in front of onlookers. I wonder if other army wives have had to deal with this.

Tonight, I had one of my evening classes after work. I walked into the class and saw two girls who I knew from a previous semester and they totally snubbed me. They looked me in the eye when I walked through the door and then turned their heads and started giggling to avoid me. I have not been treated like that in a long time. I smiled back and took a seat right in front of them, feeling absolutely mortified. I haven’t dealt with a situation like that in a long time. I had even sent one of the girls an email before class asking if she wanted to be on the same team for a project. She never emailed me back, but I’m guessing she doesn’t care for me too much. This was so much like a scene from high school. Its times like this that I wish Jay was here to tell me that I should never let any one make me feel insecure. I need that type of reassurance these days. I realized today that my best friend is not here to talk to me and that is making this deployment even more difficult. Today was one of those tough days, and then there’s PMS on top of that… 

On the bright side, I started a blog for Jay’s family during the deployment. It has been wonderful. They’re all kept in the loop without me having to contact them all individually. Plus, they are adding prayers and comments everyday. I know it encouraging Jay, but it’s helping me too! 🙂 Until next time…

D-Day

Deployment Day was yesterday morning, and I am still in a state of disbelief. I promised Jay that I would be strong, and surprisingly enough I actually lived up to it. I did not cry at all. I was all smiles for him. I wanted the last image on my face to represent happiness. I did not want him to worry about me being a sad mess. I stayed strong and smiled until he left. The rest of the day, I thought about his deployment and all of the possible scenarios, but I did not cry. I forced myself to be rational about this deployment and be strong for Jay. I kept myself busy all day while I closed all of our business in Colorado Springs. I’ve talked to Jay several times since he left, but he doesn’t seem far away yet. I think that’s why this deployment hasn’t been as traumatic as I initially thought it would be. I’m going through my daily routine and missing him. I love him dearly and I vow to stay prayerful and hopeful. We’ll see what happens in the next couple of days…