To Watch The News or Not Watch the News–That is the Question

Today, I saw that the death total is above 4,100. That’s such a large number. What’s even more staggering is the total for injuries, more than 20,000! Other military wives have told me not to watch the news, but I definitely think I should watch the news. I think it’s so important to stay on top of current events. If an Army wife didn’t watch the news today, she wouldn’t know that General Petraeus passed the baton to General Ordieno. This is an important fact. It can change a lot of things in Iraq. Organizational changes in companies can be traumatizing and debilitating to productivity for employees in a regular workplace, I can’t imagine what it’s like for the Army to go through organizational change. I hope everyone will stay on top of the latest news, so you can make informed decisions about every aspect of military life. The news should not cause you to worry. Everything that happens in Iraq is beyond our control, and anxiety will not help the situation. We cannot change the direction of anything in the world by remaining ignorant and shielding ourselves from the harsh realities of life. From this point forward, I plan to stay well-versed on international affairs and public policy, and I hope you will too.

The American Dream Lives On

Right now, the days with my husband have dropped into the single digits. We have been packing up all of his belongings in preparation for his deployment. While packing, Michelle Obama’s speech was on in the background. I stopped packing and became captivated by her words. Michelle Obama reminded me of why Jay joined the military. He became a soldier so that everyone had the freedom to achieve the American Dream without fear of losing their constitutional rights. He became a soldier so that everyone can have life, liberty, and happiness. The Obamas are true examples of people who worked hard to achieve the American Dream. As I complete my graduate degree and as my husband goes to war, their story inspires me to be a better person. Michelle Obama spoke about the strength of an army wife as she sits down for dinner and says grace with an empty chair at the table for a year. That statement resonated with me as an army wife. I have never heard a woman in politics on any side of the aisle create a better depiction of life as an army wife. There are nine weeks until Election Day, and someone–whether John McCain or Barack Obama–will be the next president. The 44th president will have a direct impact on my life and the fate of my husband. I trust Barack Obama with that responsibility and I trust Michelle Obama to represent the interests of army wives. Tonight, Michelle Obama demonstrated courage, strength, and confidence as a woman. These are all qualities that army wives should exude in our daily lives. Her speech was awe-inspiring to me and I hope other wives will take the time to listen to her speech for inspiration about achieving the American Dream.

LiveLeak.com

Last night, my husband showed me footage from liveleak.com. This site allows people to post video footage with commentary. It’s basically citizen journalism. LiveLeak.com is showing a side of Iraq that is never shown on television. There is a lot of footage from Iraq and Afghanistan. Some of it is taken my Americans and some of it is taken by Iraqis. I was taken aback by the footage I saw. There was one video that was taken by an Iraqi who shoots a soldier right in the chest. The blow knocked the solider off his feet but his Kevlar saved him. The Iraqis in the film are screaming “Praise Allah” as they are shooting the soldier. While watching the film, I was speechless. I could not believe that anyone has the heart to kill and use their God’s name in the process. It was very difficult for me to watch. It made me realize that this really is a battle of cultures. We want the Iraqis to have an American-style democracy and they want to live in an Islamic state without our oversight. 

Also on the site, I saw footage of our troops obliterate Iraqi insurgents. You can see the sophisticated technology the military uses to see insurgents as they are planting IEDs to hurt our troops. As strange as it sounds, it made me feel better about Jay’s deployment. It made me see that the military is trying to put an end to the insurgency to keep service men and women–like my husband–safe. I know that sounds really selfish of me, but seeing that there is action being taken against the insurgents made me feel like soldiers are not just walking targets. 

I think Jay showed me this for a reason. He wanted me to feel more at ease about his deployment. Believe it or not, this tactic worked. I feel better about the situation now.

War is Becoming a Reality

In the last couple of weeks, we’ve had some difficult conversations. We’ve talked about funeral arrangements, burial locations, and a lot of grim topics that your average 25-year-old should never have to think about. We’ve made special arrangements for fertility by having Jay’s sperm frozen. There are many babies born to Iraq war veterans who have been born without limbs and other disabilities. We have frozen Jay’s sperm so that we can use pre-Iraq sperm. This will help ensure that we have the healthiest babies possible. These conversations have helped me remember how fragile life is and important it is to all tell those around you how much you care about them.

I don’t know what I would do if I lost Jay in Iraq. He is my soul mate. I love him dearly and I don’t know how I could live in this world alone. He is my everything. I am so scared to open my front door and see a soldier. I am afraid that they’ll tell me they have bad news to share with me. Its too much to even think about at this point. I love him so much. I know I need to be strong, but the reality is that 4,000 wives or mothers have received that unfortunate visit. 4,000 families are suffering a loss. Yes, I realize that there are more families whose loved ones who have walked away unscathed. I am making a promise to myself that I will not worry about things that have not happened yet, but I will focus on loving and supporting Jay as much as I can. Until next time…..