Mortar Attacks in Iraq

Jay arrived in his final destination in Iraq. My husband bought a SIM card from a local and he’s now calling me for free! It’s nice that I get to hear from him everyday now. While talking to him he told me about mortar attacks that he’s witnessed and how there are explosions around him constantly. It was wonderful to hear from him, but it’s tough to know that he’s in harm’s way for real now. Before, he was in Kuwait City, which does not have any violence. Now, he’s in the thick of it all. I knew that eventually I would hear about the violence facing Jay. I am working hard not to be anxious. I’ve just been prayerful.  We’re approaching Month 2 of this deployment. At least I know that there are five more months to go until I’ll see Jay!

After talking to Jay, I turned on the news to see that a local soldier was killed in Afghanistan. This soldier did 3 tours of duty in Iraq as well as two tours in Desert Storm in 1990s before his tour in Afghanistan. I will never complain about the length of this deployment again because Jay and I will only have to go through a deployment once. This soldier’s wife is much stronger than I am.

War is Becoming a Reality

In the last couple of weeks, we’ve had some difficult conversations. We’ve talked about funeral arrangements, burial locations, and a lot of grim topics that your average 25-year-old should never have to think about. We’ve made special arrangements for fertility by having Jay’s sperm frozen. There are many babies born to Iraq war veterans who have been born without limbs and other disabilities. We have frozen Jay’s sperm so that we can use pre-Iraq sperm. This will help ensure that we have the healthiest babies possible. These conversations have helped me remember how fragile life is and important it is to all tell those around you how much you care about them.

I don’t know what I would do if I lost Jay in Iraq. He is my soul mate. I love him dearly and I don’t know how I could live in this world alone. He is my everything. I am so scared to open my front door and see a soldier. I am afraid that they’ll tell me they have bad news to share with me. Its too much to even think about at this point. I love him so much. I know I need to be strong, but the reality is that 4,000 wives or mothers have received that unfortunate visit. 4,000 families are suffering a loss. Yes, I realize that there are more families whose loved ones who have walked away unscathed. I am making a promise to myself that I will not worry about things that have not happened yet, but I will focus on loving and supporting Jay as much as I can. Until next time…..