Baghdad High

So, when Jay left for Iraq I decided to invest in HBO, and it was a great choice! I thought HBO, which carries quality programming would be a great alternative to my greatest weakness–reality tv. Today, I watched Baghdad High, a documentary on HBO that gives high-schoolers from Baghdad video cameras to document their daily lives. This presentation was so sad. It shows the horror these students face during their senior year in high school. In addition to having to figure out their next steps in life, they’re engrossed in the middle of a war they can’t comprehend. This documentary shows the pain these young men feel as one of their friends moves to another country in the middle of the school year to escape the violence. Another boy’s family faces financial hardship because of the terrible economic situation in the country. The third student featured struggles to keep his grades up as he tries to cope with not knowing where his father is alive or dead.

After watching this documentary, I’m even more opposed to our involvement in this war. This program showed regular adolescents who are caught in the middle of an unjust war. It was clear that all of the families depicted in this film hated Saddam Hussein. They were excited that he was killed in an inhumane way and many gave testimonies about how they were personally affected by Saddam’s evil ways. Now that Saddam is gone, they’re struggling to stay alive. One of the kids visited one of friends who had been injured by a roadside bomb. It was sad to see this child in a terrible condition. They also showed a clip from one of the orphanages in Baghdad. It was heart-wrenching to see children who looked hungry and unkept. These were all children who lost their parents because of the death from the war. It’s a very sad situation. It seems very much like a scene described in the book, Charlie Wilson’s War. The children who were Freedom Fighters in Afghanistan during the U.S-led covert operation against Russia. Those children felt mistreated by their situation and hated America for the violence they brought to their country. One of those children was Osama Bin Laden and he we know how his story goes. I don’t want to see another Osama Bin Laden emerge from the children of Iraq and Afghanistan, and occupation is not the answer to helping them rebuild their lives. I wish there were a way to restore goodwill. 

Make no mistake that I support and respect my husband and his comrades in the efforts for the war. I don’t, however, appreciate how the Bush Administration has been careless about developing an exit strategy and restoring goodwill within the country. One of the most notable quotes by Congressmen Wilson about the covert operation in Afghanistan was…”Those things happened and they were glorious, and then we fucked up the end game.” I fear that’s where we’re headed now in year 5 of this war. There’s no clear mission. In the beginning, there was the mission of finding Osama Bin Laden and other members of Al Quada and bringing down Saddam and his administration. Osama Bin Laden is hiding somewhere (some believe in Pakistan) and Saddam and his evil sons are dead. Where do we go from here? The obvious answer is to rebuild the country, but it makes no sense to rebuild when you destroy the infrastructure you just built the week before. We have been working to deter the insurgency, but it would be solved if they didn’t have a target.

This is a moment of honesty for me and I hope everyone will take this post as it is. These are thoughts swirling in my mind as I miss Jay and watch dramatic scenes of kids who have done no wrong. I do think the children are the ones who have been forgotten about in this mess.

D-Day

Deployment Day was yesterday morning, and I am still in a state of disbelief. I promised Jay that I would be strong, and surprisingly enough I actually lived up to it. I did not cry at all. I was all smiles for him. I wanted the last image on my face to represent happiness. I did not want him to worry about me being a sad mess. I stayed strong and smiled until he left. The rest of the day, I thought about his deployment and all of the possible scenarios, but I did not cry. I forced myself to be rational about this deployment and be strong for Jay. I kept myself busy all day while I closed all of our business in Colorado Springs. I’ve talked to Jay several times since he left, but he doesn’t seem far away yet. I think that’s why this deployment hasn’t been as traumatic as I initially thought it would be. I’m going through my daily routine and missing him. I love him dearly and I vow to stay prayerful and hopeful. We’ll see what happens in the next couple of days…

Last Night at the Convention

Last night, Jay and I attended Barack Obama’s nomination speech at Mile High Stadium. This event was nothing short of phenomenal. As an Army wife, one of the most powerful moments for me was never shown on television. Nearly 20 retired Army generals, including General Wesley Clark, came forward to publicly support Senator Obama. It was important for me to hear military leaders tell the audience that Barack Obama is the best choice as commander-in-chief. We also saw speakers including Joe Biden, Al Gore, and Bill Richarson. We saw U.S. Olympian Shawn Johnson recite the pledge. Sheryl Crow, Stevie Wonder, and Michael McDonald all gave performances at the event. This was a great night in political history. Jay was so happy that he was able to attend this event before his deployment. We will remember this for the rest of our lives. Being in that stadium with 80,000 people who shared similar beliefs was awe-inspiring!

Moving Day

Today, we packed up the apartment we have in Colorado Springs in preparation for Jay’s deployment. It was a long day, but we’re done. We are both exhausted. I had planned to do so much for Jay before his deployment and never got around to it because of the chaos of moving, closing utilities accounts, traveling, etc., etc. I wanted to make Jay several video messages that could be downloaded onto his iPod when he is in Iraq and missing me. I got one video message done. I wanted to write three or four letters that he could read while he was en route and that didn’t happen. I did, however, make a calendar of all our favorite photos, key dates, a deployment countdown and Biblical scriptures. I figured this gift would help keep Jay motivated and inspired everyday during his deployment. I did throw Jay a deployment party where he got to see all of his family and friends before leaving. I had a company create these little prayer cards for his family and friends with pictures of Jay and scriptures on the back. These were little takeaways that always keep Jay close to all of us and in our prayers. I also made a mini photo book for Jay with photos from our travels this year. Its so small that it fits in his shirt pocket. I’ll be close to him throughout his deployment with these items. While I accomplished a lot in the last two months leading up to his deployment, I still wish there was time to do more. Time ran out before I realized it. 

Jay and I will be at Barack Obama’s nomination speech at Mile High Stadium in Denver tomorrow. We received special credentials to attend. I can’t wait to share this experience with everyone via this blog.

Until next time….

The American Dream Lives On

Right now, the days with my husband have dropped into the single digits. We have been packing up all of his belongings in preparation for his deployment. While packing, Michelle Obama’s speech was on in the background. I stopped packing and became captivated by her words. Michelle Obama reminded me of why Jay joined the military. He became a soldier so that everyone had the freedom to achieve the American Dream without fear of losing their constitutional rights. He became a soldier so that everyone can have life, liberty, and happiness. The Obamas are true examples of people who worked hard to achieve the American Dream. As I complete my graduate degree and as my husband goes to war, their story inspires me to be a better person. Michelle Obama spoke about the strength of an army wife as she sits down for dinner and says grace with an empty chair at the table for a year. That statement resonated with me as an army wife. I have never heard a woman in politics on any side of the aisle create a better depiction of life as an army wife. There are nine weeks until Election Day, and someone–whether John McCain or Barack Obama–will be the next president. The 44th president will have a direct impact on my life and the fate of my husband. I trust Barack Obama with that responsibility and I trust Michelle Obama to represent the interests of army wives. Tonight, Michelle Obama demonstrated courage, strength, and confidence as a woman. These are all qualities that army wives should exude in our daily lives. Her speech was awe-inspiring to me and I hope other wives will take the time to listen to her speech for inspiration about achieving the American Dream.

LiveLeak.com

Last night, my husband showed me footage from liveleak.com. This site allows people to post video footage with commentary. It’s basically citizen journalism. LiveLeak.com is showing a side of Iraq that is never shown on television. There is a lot of footage from Iraq and Afghanistan. Some of it is taken my Americans and some of it is taken by Iraqis. I was taken aback by the footage I saw. There was one video that was taken by an Iraqi who shoots a soldier right in the chest. The blow knocked the solider off his feet but his Kevlar saved him. The Iraqis in the film are screaming “Praise Allah” as they are shooting the soldier. While watching the film, I was speechless. I could not believe that anyone has the heart to kill and use their God’s name in the process. It was very difficult for me to watch. It made me realize that this really is a battle of cultures. We want the Iraqis to have an American-style democracy and they want to live in an Islamic state without our oversight. 

Also on the site, I saw footage of our troops obliterate Iraqi insurgents. You can see the sophisticated technology the military uses to see insurgents as they are planting IEDs to hurt our troops. As strange as it sounds, it made me feel better about Jay’s deployment. It made me see that the military is trying to put an end to the insurgency to keep service men and women–like my husband–safe. I know that sounds really selfish of me, but seeing that there is action being taken against the insurgents made me feel like soldiers are not just walking targets. 

I think Jay showed me this for a reason. He wanted me to feel more at ease about his deployment. Believe it or not, this tactic worked. I feel better about the situation now.