So, Jay called me this afternoon from Kuwait. He was telling me about everything that was going on in Kuwait. How he was feeling about the situation. When he called, I was at lunch with one of my colleagues from work. It was pretty awkward having that conversation with someone right across the table. I want to break down in tears and tell Jay how much I loved him and missed him, but I also wanted to stay calm and composed because I didn’t want to get too personal in front of colleague. I chose the latter way of behaving. Jay actually commented that he realized that I was at a work lunch, but he wished that I could be more of myself. It was very awkward. I can imagine this happening many more times as the deployment moves forward. Because of the time difference He’ll be calling me mainly while I’m at work. I don’t want him to ever think I’m being disingenuous, but trying to stay composed in front of onlookers. I wonder if other army wives have had to deal with this.
Tonight, I had one of my evening classes after work. I walked into the class and saw two girls who I knew from a previous semester and they totally snubbed me. They looked me in the eye when I walked through the door and then turned their heads and started giggling to avoid me. I have not been treated like that in a long time. I smiled back and took a seat right in front of them, feeling absolutely mortified. I haven’t dealt with a situation like that in a long time. I had even sent one of the girls an email before class asking if she wanted to be on the same team for a project. She never emailed me back, but I’m guessing she doesn’t care for me too much. This was so much like a scene from high school. Its times like this that I wish Jay was here to tell me that I should never let any one make me feel insecure. I need that type of reassurance these days. I realized today that my best friend is not here to talk to me and that is making this deployment even more difficult. Today was one of those tough days, and then there’s PMS on top of that…
On the bright side, I started a blog for Jay’s family during the deployment. It has been wonderful. They’re all kept in the loop without me having to contact them all individually. Plus, they are adding prayers and comments everyday. I know it encouraging Jay, but it’s helping me too! 
Until next time…
The best feeling is when your husband calls! I still get all giddy when DH calls me. This is our second deployment and we’ve been married for almost 8 years.
And it’s okay to get a bit emotional, even if it is in front of co-workers. Of course, they don’t want to hear you wail and complain, but emotion is okay.
As for those ‘mean girls’ — you are better off without them and I’m sure you will find someone else in the class that you will ‘bond’ with.
Us Army Wives need to stick together — so if you need to chat, let me know.
Take care,
Household 6 Hooah
I can’t remember how many times Marshall called me during those “awkward” moments. At lunch with friends. While I was sitting in my extremely small cubicle where everyone could hear everything I was saying. While I was out having drinks with the girls in the evening. It’s a wierd situation to be in. Because everything that I was told was “stay strong for you soldier … he doesn’t need to be worrying about you” so thats what I always did. (or TRIED to do.)
I always got the same response. He wanted me to be more of myself. But when I did break down in tears because I missed the crap out of him, he would feel bad because he couldn’t be here to console me.
I don’t really have any advice other than yeah … its rough. But, it WILL get easier. Its tough at first. So, hang in there. You’re doing a good job
And just remember, you’re not alone 
And … those girls are stupid. Seriously. We’re not in high school anymore.
ALSO — in regards to your last comment. Pets are the best, and make everything easier. They always seem to know when to comfort you when you most need it. I’m glad you have your boxer there to keep you company
B.
Stay strong, my wife and I went through this same thing it what seemed like years ago, and I blogged about it as well. Good way to keep yourself sane.